Monday, January 5, 2015

Monthly (Half) Musings: January 2015

Happy New Year, you gorgeous people! I hope you've had a wonderful holiday season, and that getting back to the grind hasn't been too painful. Typically, I save my Musings for the end of the month, but with only five days under my belt this month, I've already logged so many that I thought I'd split them up--giving you some at the beginning and the rest at the end of the month--you know, like bookends. Here's to getting this shiny, new year off to a great start!

• On New Year's Day alone, I was cut off and aggressively tailgated by two muscle cars--one a BMW, the other a Dodge. Dear Muscle Car Drivers: if you don't want me to believe that you're over compensating for physical and/or mental deficiencies by your choice in automobile, please do yourselves a favor and refrain from such gross vehicular infractions, particularly while driving said muscle cars. That is all.

• No matter how strong the urge, do not go #2 in a public bathroom stall that you're sharing with a 3 year old. It won't be the semi-private experience you were hoping to have, trust me. #dontaskhowiknow #atleasthewasencouraging

• We just found out baby #2 is a girl (henceforth & forever to be known in this life and on this blog as Lady, short for Ladybug), and not a moment too soon, in my view. The menfolk in my house are currently holed up in the Bud's room, watching dinosaur fight scenes on YouTube. This baby is my last ditch effort to restore some balance around these parts. #outnumbered #desperate

• Thank God (and my friend Shannon) for maternity yoga pants. #namaste

• I had my first opportunity to park in one of those 'Expectant and New Mothers' parking spots the other day. Pulling out as I waited to pull in were two women in a truck with the windows rolled up, both taking deep drags from cigarettes. The driver met my eye with a "Prove I'm not pregnant; I'd really like to see you try," gleam in hers. Now I've seen it all. #secondhandsmoke #mustnotbeshowingyet

• How long can you expect to fear a little boy peeing in your eye? If you'd asked me an hour ago, I'd have said 'until he's 3 weeks old, probably.' That's the last time mine did it to me, anyway. I've since had to adjust that date to 'forever, and most likely, today could be the day.' Because he peed in my eye today. The only emergency eyewash kit I know about is not convenient to my house. #nodignity #unclean #OSHAfail

• Another perk of a second pregnancy: there's usually somebody else tagging along with very little credibility, and who still mostly agrees with everything I say, to blame for those uncontrolled toots that slip out in public. Plus, he thinks it's hilarious, so who am I to deny him joy? #winwin #threenager #noshame

No comments:

Post a Comment