Friday, August 19, 2016
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
It's been more than a month since I did one of these. But, you guys, the month of May was so not my fave. First, I (stupidly, and against my will) turned 40. And that's not even the worst thing that happened last month.
No, I don't want to talk about it.
A couple of good things did happen, like both The Bud and Lady had birthdays, so now I have a five year old and a one year old. A kindergartener and a toddler. *sniff* Work had its good and not-so-good moments. Life keeps tripping by, some days, sorely trying my patience and mental fortitude.
Anyway, that's my list of excuses. What I have for you today is some musing, mingled in with some life bloopers, if you will. Enjoy.😚
• Today, I discovered that I'd been wearing one of my shirts backwards since I bought it six months ago. It fits much better the new way.
• I discovered that a lone (but powerfully effective) dingleberry--yes, it's what you think I mean--got washed and dried in a load of laundry. You know the saying, "One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch,"?
One dingleberry does. It really does.
• The other day, I had the thought that if I could invent a pair of women's underwear that kept in line that tiny front butt that shows up sometime after the 2nd kid, without cutting off circulation to one's outer extremities, but that wasn't so flimsy the undies constantly roll down below said front butt, I'd be a millionaire. Then I realized I'd never get around to fleshing out the idea. No pun intended. I'd get distracted trying to inobtrusively (is it in or un??) roll my current underwear back over my tiny front butt while in line someplace inappropriate. Like Starbucks, H&M, the office, or if I'm honest with myself, anyplace outside my personal bathroom.
• I am completely over post-partum boobs. They were a novelty for a while, but now I just really need my shirts to fit.
• If the newborn is now a year old, can I still call them post-partum boobs?
• My five year old is learning how to deal gracefully with disappointment. I don't have the heart to tell him he'll still be working on that in 35 years. Seems mean.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
It's a springtime miracle: I'm posting a list of 'Musings' in the month in which I gathered my muse! Better get crackin' before I forget what I'm thinking about (which happens WAY more than I'm comfortable admitting to you).
• I spend entirely too much of my daily parenting, lately, teaching my man-cub not to fart in my breathing space. #boyslife
• Currently, I'm not the favorite of either of my children. They want Daddy for just about everything, so why am I still so freaking tired all the time? #littlechildren
• I'm "outgrowing," for lack of a better word, my all-for-the-kids parenting phase. I've started to seek out ways and moments to be away from my children, which isn't all bad. It's kind of refreshing, actually. What it means for you, though, is you really don't want to answer my phone calls or texts right now: I'm probably looking for a sitter. #youbusyonfriday?
• The other day, I was complaining to my mom about The Bud's unwillingness to participate in the $85 soccer camp we (I) signed him up for this Spring. Her answer? "That's sounds like you at his age."
I'll ignore the not-so-subtle retributive glee from my mother and, instead, try to find a bright side in my own parenting future. So he hates rules, right now. There's still a chance he'll turn out alright in the end, right? This will have to be my solace. If we let him live, that is. #only3moreweekstogo #i hate heartsoccer
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Conversation overheard, between The Artist and The Bud, just now:
TB: Um, um, Daddy?
TA: Yeah, Bud?
TB: Will you come downstairs and watch Charlie Brown wiff (sic) me?
TA: *sigh* Alright, but just for a minute. I'm watching baseball, ok?
[Walking down the stairs]
TB: Ok, for 15 minutes.
TA: No, for 2 minutes.
TB: Ok, how 'bout for 12 minutes?
TA: How 'bout 30 seconds?
Somebody needs to teach that kid that minutes are longer than seconds. #tricked
Thursday, March 31, 2016
° Today, I decided I liked the degree symbol better than a standard bullet point, so all of my muses will be in farenheit...fairenheit. Farenhiet. Ok, Celcius.
° The Bud is still having occasional pooping difficulties, but we've found a great deal of relief for him in thrice-daily doses of prune juice. His beloved 'purple juice' is keeping him as close to regular and pain-free as I've seen him since we started potty training a year and a half ago. Sugar content, bedamned.
° We have relatively laid back kids, but I swear they turn on us when either Mama or Daddy is parenting alone. The little buggers already know about the weakness of zone defense. #divideandconquer
° I read somewhere that doing a daily crossword puzzle can improve memory in Alzheimer's sufferers, so now I've got 3 games of Words With Friends going on my phone. I'm hoping it works for mamas, too. #cantrememberwhereileftmymemory
° The book, 'Are You My Mother' is 63 pages long, and is currently The Bud's favorite bedtime story, particularly on nights when I'm exhausted and just want him to go to bed, so I can go to bed. And he knows when I skip pages.
Really, P. D. Eastman?
° Speaking of memory loss, the next couple posts will be from my drafts backlog. Apparently in the last six months or so I've been writing stuff but forgetting to publish what I wrote. #whatever
Friday, January 29, 2016
Uncork that wine, babe, it's just after 9.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
A brief list of my accomplishments from the last 24 hrs:
-I made the call to a friend I've been meaning to invite to dinner for weeks.
-I went to the gym today (5:30 am, y'all) for the first time since October.
-I made eye contact with and said "I love you' to each member of my family before I left the house this morning.
-I packed a lunch.
-I stopped on my way home from work last night to buy new windshield wiper blades to replace the 2 yr old mud-rubbers I'd had on there. I even installed them.
BOOM. Good job, Me.