Monday, June 8, 2015

Confessions of a New-ish Mama

As promised, here's a post from my archives that mysteriously never got posted. In the interest of full disclosure, I have no recollection of writing it. Like, none. I did read it, though, and it sounds like something I'd say, so here you go. Good luck to us all. And I can't figure out how to change the post date to today on my phone, so don't even mention it.


1. I have tasted my own breast milk, and not "by accident," like I've heard other moms say, I guess to avoid looking like weirdo cannibalistic, breast milk drinkers. *shrug* I have nothing to lose at this point by admitting I get why the littles like it. #tasteslikeicecream

2. For 3 days, I convinced myself that it was ok that I hadn't showered, because I didn't want to confuse my newborn over who was caring for her by smelling like soap instead of my natural scent. #notok

3. I've only given birth by c-section, but no one can convince me I don't know what labor feels like. Why? Because I've experienced the dreaded First Post-Partum Poo. #nuffsaid

4. There may be nothing funnier than watching The Artist lose his sh*t because the baby projectile pooped while he was changing her. #comedy #laughterthroughtears #itshappenedtometoo

5. I've deliberately stayed awake between Lady's 12 am and 3 am feedings more than once, just for a little peace and quiet, and to be awake but not have someone touching me. #touchedout #overwhelmedbyneeds

6. Intellectually, I know it can get annoying when a new parent bombards social media with pictures of their new kiddo, and/or status updates of all of her newborn "accomplishments," ad nauseum, but I am completely unable to stop myself. #ohwell #yougonehaftablockme

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