• Recently, I had the bright idea to make the (literal) first time I took both of my kids anywhere by myself be to take them to visit my family in my home town. It only took listening to my newborn scream for 20 minutes while I drove down the highway unable to make it stop on the first day, and The Bud puking all over me for 6 hours straight in the middle of the night on the last day, to decide never to leave the house alone with them, again. #whatwasithinking
• Loneliness is holding your puking (and resisting) preschooler over the toilet by the scruff of the neck with one hand, while nursing your newborn in the other, at 3 am. #calgontakemeaway
• The tag on a prescription I recently got filled for Lady had her name on the box sticker, in quotation marks. What, do the pharmacists think, she's a tiny, squalling figment of our imaginations? #idontgetit #misplacedquotationmarks
• Motherhood: eating the discarded crusts of someone else's bread for breakfast and calling it 'toast' since the beginning of time. 😝
• Newborn motto: we cry more before 5 am than most people (except our parents) do all day. #beallthatyoucanbe
• Daddy's Jobs:
1. Wrestling with the big kid, upon request.
2. Eating said kid's leftover cereal every day. #wastenotwantnot #gladidonthavetodoit
• I took a trip to the mall with The Artist today. It was so exciting, it felt like a field trip. I was so tired when we got home that I fell asleep sitting in a chair, clutching my phone in my hand, upright. I'm obviously not getting out enough. #babysteps
• The Bud came to me in distress, asking where his Diplodycus was. I was stumped, since I don't make it a habit either to play with, or to lose, his toys. So I said I didn't know, to which he replied, "it's in the fire engine!" #naturalconsequences #ifyouknewallalongwhydidyouaskme
• I love, I mean simply LOVE, HGTV. #fixerupper #DIYordie😍😍
• I don't know about yours, but my newborn has now slept almost 5 hrs in a row between nightime feedings, on two, non-consecutive days. #prodigy #gettingexcited #itsthelittlethings
