Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Monthly Musings: March 2015

• The Bud has had a thing for watching dinosaur fight scenes on YouTube for some time now, and while I think it's weird, I haven't had just cause to object to the habit. He gets regular screen time for this, within limits, of course.

It wouldn't be a problem except he's expanded his taste to videos of other kids playing with dinosaur toys (I know), and in one particular video, a dad giving commentary in the background pronounces the 'T' sound in the word T-Rex more like the 'D' sound. I think English isn't this guy's first language, but it's hard not to hold it against him, because he's got my kid doing it. After he'd already mastered the T sound! The grammar and word usage nerd in me writhes. Writhes,  I tell you! This further proves that you can't trust the Internet to educate your kids. #umm...

• I've started a campaign to convince the Y chromosome bearers in my house that eating a warm biscuit with blackberry jam, as I do, counts as a yummy dessert. It's been unconscious, but I must confess that I do it so I don't have to bake to get them the desserts they really like. #cuttingcorners

• Today, The Bud, in answer to a question from me, answered 'yes, ma'am,' for the first time. #montessorieducated

• For the last 5 minutes, I've listened from across the hall to my son working himself from fake tears for dramatic effect to actual upset over the fact that we (I) only sang one chorus of 'Jesus Loves Me' with him before night-night. Then Daddy (aka: The Bleeding Heart) came home to discover the mayhem and to save his only son from his unfeeling mother. I live in a madhouse. #overtired #bothofus

• I'm a bit tired of seeing my mail carrier on the phone every time he's in the neighborhood, especially in light of the fact that at least once a week somebody in our building plays a game of Who's Mail Is It, Anyway because the wrong mails gets put in our boxes. #switcheroo

• It doesn't seem fair that now, while I'm doing, arguably, the most womanly thing there is to do, I have developed the hair growing capacity (and patterns) of a Sasquatch. #beardedmama

• Remember that friend in high school/college (usually a guy) who, when the question of food came up, no matter the time of day or what time they'd had their last meal, responded, "I could eat"? Well, that's me now, except it's pee, not eat. (Who am I kidding? I could probably eat, too). Any given time of the day, no matter when I last went, I can always go again . Ladies, I'm a social pee-er's dream, so invite me to dinner at your favorite restaurant. You'll never go alone. #icouldgo

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Monthly Musings, May 2014

I have so many random neuron firings in a month's time, I started writing them down to chuckle over in my down time. Sharing them with you is a great way to log a blog post and not really have to do any work. Welcome to my crazy, folks.
 
Mother's Day is not relaxing or fun unless your children are grown and out of the house. Or at least able to wipe their own butts.

I'm 38 years old. I survived junior high school, puberty, and a dateless senior prom. Shouldn't I get to be done with acne and combination skin, now?
 
Why, after a nap, does my face look like it was dipped in acid while I slept, but W and The Bud always wake up looking great? #unfair #genderbias
 
How do you explain peeing in the toilet to a person who has successfully mastered (and prefers) the "pay while you play" method of excretion?
 
I don't know where I'd be without the women in my life.
 
Do guys really think no one can see them pick their noses when they're in their cars? #commuterquestions
 
I don't think I've ever been this tired. EVER. #workingmamaproblems
 
I think morning breath is a tongue's cry for help. #whatdiedinthere?
 
A friend said she needed a wife to help her with all the things. #genius #iwantonetoo
 
I'm driving W's SUV right now. It's high off the ground. I am not. I am, however, always in a hurry. A vehicle I have to polevault into, a hurry, and a pencil skirt do not mix. #dollarstoresewingkitssuck #okmysewingsucks
 
The gas for said SUV is expensive but the 6-cd changer and subwoofers are badass. #tradeoff #formoverfunction
 
Can a court jester and a goddess inhabit the same form? Obviously!