The offending ducks. One of them flipped a gang sign right before this picture was taken, I swear.
• The rubber ducky situation around here is starting to make me twitchy. Originally, he had two--snowman duck and yellow duck. Camo (aka: green) duck got added a couple of weeks ago after a sleep over with friends. Tonight, surfer duck showed up at bath time and I swear I've never seen him before. #gaslight #somethingsafoot
• Grooming is an epic struggle and if you ask me, I'm not entirely sure it's worth the drama. If I come near The Bud with soap, a comb, or a set of nail clippers, he looks at me like I'm wearing a leather mask and carrying a chainsaw. And really, at this point in his life I'm only doing this stuff to keep DFS from my doorstep, anyway. It's not like he's prepping for job interviews or anything...#rationalizations
• Grooming is an epic struggle and if you ask me, I'm not entirely sure it's worth the drama. If I come near The Bud with soap, a comb, or a set of nail clippers, he looks at me like I'm wearing a leather mask and carrying a chainsaw. And really, at this point in his life I'm only doing this stuff to keep DFS from my doorstep, anyway. It's not like he's prepping for job interviews or anything...#rationalizations
• Happiness is finding one, last ice cream sandwich in the box, and not having to share it with anybody.
• As a new mom, I took bathtime very seriously. I had it all: the infant tub, the tearless soap, the washcloth puppets, the colored soaps, the tiny basketball hoop with the suction cups that are supposed to affix to the shower wall, but never actually do. But did he play with any of that stuff? Nope. He wanted the potato masher, his toothbrush, mommy's cell phone (caught that one in the nick of time), and the takeaway plastic cups with local bar names on them that we collected when we were cute and fun, and capable of staying up past 10 pm. #whocares
• Google is spamming me with emails about improving my erectile dysfunction, and I'll admit, it's hard not to be a tiny bit defensive about it. #missingappendage
• The other night I realized the words 'while' and 'whole' are only one letter apart, but they sound totally different. It's neither noteworthy nor interesting, but it blew my mind. I've gotta take a class or something.
• I just tucked The Bud in for the night, kissed him, told him I loved him and to sleep well. My sincerity might've been suspect though, considering I was yelling the words at him at the time. #bedtime #mommydearest
#gothef%$@cktosleep
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